My road began at the beginning of 2006. I was married to a different man. My life with him was hard. My adoptive mother had pushed for many years to search for my biological family. I finally began that process. I had recorded things in a small notebook. It wasn’t enough. I contacted the adoption agency, St. Elizabeth Coleman. The maternity home was the Suemma Coleman for Unwed Mothers. The agency was a reputable one. It was not originally associated with Catholic Charities. It was bought out by them many years later.
The agency confidential intermediary was Katrina Carlisle. As you can read in the transcript, my biological mother was distraught when she was contacted. At the time of the search, I believed that Katrina had poisoned my one shot with her. I was very wrong. I hope that one day that she will forgive me. Everything that she said about both my biological parents was dead on.
With the receipt of those transcripts, I cried for days on end. It destroyed my soul. My first thought was that my biological father was my biological grandfather. Katrina promptly dissuaded me of that thought. My now ex-husband was very unsympathetic just like when my step father died. He left me swinging out in the cold to figure out how to deal with this process. My husband now is completely opposite of him.
I was only given non-identifying information. It was comprehensive. The health history was minimal at best. That is the bad thing with confidential intermediaries. It is impossible to know everything to ask. My life now is so different. I am also so much more aware of what my health concerns could potentially be for myself. Is she allergic to Sulfa medication? Is she allergic to anything in particular? Does it cause a strong reaction in her? Does she have fibromyalgia or any skin diseases such as acne or cystic acne? What illnesses, disorders, or disease processes run in the family? Type 2 Diabetes, Alzheimer’s, liver disease, and alcoholism are just a few of those types of questions. I guess maybe the agency needs to come up with a comprehensive health checklist of some kind. Possibly something from a doctor’s office would be a good place to start.
None of these really came up in the conversation with Katrina except her dad died of pneumonia (It doesn’t say just that on his death certificate. It actually mentions disease pathways relating to alcoholism) and she is on Crestor (Everyone has heart disease) and has an allergy to cats (I don’t believe that this is true). Her mother loved Siamese cats (This is in her mother’s obituary). This isn’t an accurate or complete medical history. I do believe that Katrina tried to get the information from her but she wasn’t having any of it.
I began writing extensively about my feelings and processes to healing. I searched for her for many years. It led nowhere, a place of absolute heartache. I was so broken over the situation. This time is a different situation. I am coming at this stronger and healthier.
~Martha Ann’s Daughter